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| Latley I've been thinking about the youth of our nation more and more and how they are so hungry and crying out for something more substantial then what they have been given. How they need to have that force in their lives that will go to bat for them when they are feeling lonley and hurt, how they need someone there to say, hey man, I know that you messed up, but there is life beyond your little screw up. They need people who will come into their lives that will tell them how beautiful or how handsome they are, how wonderful they are and how they are not worthless or good for nothing. I think I've been thinking about this more and more because of my new job that I just started. I'm seeing kids who are elementary school age acting out and responding to things that had been told to them or that they just never learned. I'm seeing kids as young as 4 being labeled as "bad kids" because they were never told in their lives how wonderful they are! Wow, I just feel this pain in my being for these kids. I know this is the calling that I have been made to have. I know this is the area I need to be focusing on more and more because these kids deserve more then they are given. When these kids go on to be teens and eventually adults they will carry this on if nothing is done, then we will get more teens who want that love in their lives and more teen pregnancys, more drug abuse, more crimes because they people just want to be loved and they are reaching out and our society is not responding to them.
Now for what I want to do for them. I want to be the force that is in their lives that says get back on track, move past this little thing that has happened and reach your potential and more! God created you for more then you are now! He didn't make any junk. He is wonderful and good and he knew what he was doing when he created you. He made you beautiful and spotless and gave you that free will that you are so choosing to use right now. He showed you off to the angels when he made you, I mean he knows every hair on your head! He is the creator of good and not of bad! This has been on my heart a lot and makes you think about why some people are the way that they are. They have been shaped from day one to be these "bad people" because of where they came from or what they've been told. I mean not everyone is this way, but if you look at a good majority of it, they have been given this bad lot in life. My challenge to anyone who reads this: make sure you look at the good in those around you today, even if they are "bad people" or they have just done you wrong. Look past the wrong doing and look at something good about them. Then give them that compliment that they may need. This may just change they way that this person treats you, or it may change the way you view this person. Either way, it's something that needs to be done. Give a kid a hug if they need one, give an adult a hug if thats what they need, just do something really good for that person and it may change your life.
Speaking of this, if you haven't seen Fireproof yet, go see it! It's got this principle in this movie, but it's geared towards the marriage part. It applys to everyone in your life though!
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| So as most people who are in my life know, I"m a thinker, I think about every little thing as I observe them. I look at how the world is and I think about what I can do to make it a better place. I think about how God formed us and how he formed the Earth to live in a state of Homeostasis (I'm taking Anatomy and Phisiology can you tell?), this is that he created our bodies to try to balance it so that different forces can work through our bodies as well as in the Earth to make it balanced so that one thing or another does not kill us right off the bat. You see? As I blog this, I'm thinking about every little thing that I've learned in class and I'm informing the world about it. So as a thinker, about that very subject of how human bodies are made to function, it amazes me how there are all this little cells working against themselves to keep us healthy. It amazes me how the same God who made our universe and did great things with mountains and trees and the sky and planets made us, humans, to be beings with a free will, he made our bodies to function so that we would not fall down all the time when we walked on our two feet. He made it so that our back supports our large heads with the large brain he gave us, instead of making us have straight spines where it would break. He made our immune systems and skeletal system and skin even to repair itself and go back to the way it is supposed to be.
So I guess my point here is that I am thinking about how great our God really is who created us to make up our own minds. I'm so thankful for the fact that he didn't make us beings that were brainwashed from birth and have no sense of free will where we had no choice. We either did it or we get killed and struck down. I'm so grateful that we as human beings can choose to listen or to not listen to what he as God says. I"m not saying that we need to go around not caring, because thats just foolish. I"m just grateful that we have that choice and that this choice allows us to be healthy individuals or to not be healthy. We can choose what foods to eat, what if any, exercise we want to do, etc, etc. Sure there are lots of forces out there in the world that are bad and do not agree with what he has said, but in me, I see the free will to do something about it from where I"m standing. I see that I can go out and tell people about how good God is. I guess that is why one of my most favorite songs out there is by Chris Tomlin and we sing it all the time in church. He sings, "The splendor of the King, clothes in majesty, let all the world rejoice, let all the world rejoice. How great is our God! Yeah that song just puts chills down my spine because I think about how intricate God's design is and I'm like:" Wow!" the fact of the matter is folks that there is such a design in all things, how can you deny that he exists? This is just a thought from me. Once again I feel like I'm starting to ramble with my thoughts and so I leave you with this. Look past all the bad stuff happening and look at all that is around you. Look at the fact that no matter what your world looks like, if you look at if from another angle and see what God has done in you like your body systems all working together, or the fact that there are mountains (or pictures of mountains if you live in the city), he made all this beautiful stuff for us to look at and for us to keep us going in life. If you look at that and see the other side of the coin, maybe you can see past all the bad stuff and see a purpose in your life that will help you soar like and eagle and run with it. Maybe you will be the person that cures cancer or the person that will do a lot of good for all mankind. Whatever your purpose is, keep your on on the prize. Your going to encounter bad stuff along the way, but if you keep your eye on that prize, you can do whatever you want!!
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| So it's been crazy with things in my family lately. In the past 10 months we have lost three family members, I moved, and we had a new baby born into our lives. So to start, we lost my uncle in October to cancer, my grandpa in February, and my grandma just passed away this past week. Today is her service this is why I'm thinking about things with her. My sister had a baby, and he is the sweetest thing, and I moved from one location to another and it's been hectic. So what I'm doing now is refecting about things and where I stand with all this stuff happening. Well, the moving thing and my grandma getting worse started this past week. I moved because I felt God calling me in a new direction. One that calls for me to move from where I was back to where my parents are. It's so wierd not having to pay big time rent. I mean I still have to pay rent, but not as much as I would have if I was livning in an apartment. Anyway, the past week or so has been a week of stress because of all the worry about my grandma and then moving on top of it. So here I am sitting here this morning, reflecting on my experience and where I'm heading with everything in my life. To think about this stuff makes me wonder most about my legacy and what I will leave for my kids and grandkids. Before my grandparents passing, they made wills (well at least my grandpa did). They made sure that their kids were taken care of with things. I don't know the exacts of anything, but I know that my grandpa always had a heart that wanted to take care of family. In my case, what kind of legacy do I want to leave for my kids and grandkids. What kind of person do I want to be where I show this in me. What kind of things do I need to get prepared in my heart. Not just in finances, but also in life. When my family looks back at my legacy, what are they going to remember about me? This has been something to think about with me. I know that what I strive to leave behind is someone full of integrity, who never complains about things. Someone who, when you look at my life you can say that "Sarah was a good and godly woman, who never compromised herself for the sake of something trivial. I want people to see me as someone who fights for love and fights for what she believes in. I want to be someone who shows the world what Jesus really looked like by living her life as much in his image as I possibly can. These thoughts of a legacy have really creeped up in my a lot lately because of what has happened, but also because I have seen where I stand on things and what I need to change in myself. I am not saying that we should do all this by ourselves. I"m saying we need to ask God for direction and go in the direction he guides us in. You have to work at some things, but with the strength of the Lord, you can do it. It may feel hard, but to me, nothing worth anything is ever easy. It's hard to stay out of the flesh. It's hard not to complain about everything piddly thing. But when you have the strength of the Lord, you can take flight and let your legacy live through your daily life and not just by what you wish for in your life. This to me truly is the legacy that I strive for. Yes I"m not perfect, but I"m also human and as a human, when you can admit your faults and when you are wrong, it shows people that you can live with integrity in your life. Thank God for everything he is revealing to me!
Sarah
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| This is interesting to me. Here I am sitting at my computer desk writing this and thinking about some things in my life. Things that are not the greatest such as my finances right now and how this has affected the way I've approached things in the last year. I've thought about how I had cried out to God about how I know that he's doing something, but I"m not seeing it and for him to show it to me. I've cried because I've felt helpless in this situation to where I was not able to be all that I know I can be. And then just like that I got a vision in my head of what kinds of things I need to do to get my finances back on track. I thought about how I could start budgeting better and how in this time no matter what, God was stll providing even though I didn't feel like it was happening. I also thought about how when I felt like I was in need of money for a certain thing such as gas in my car, God always came through. He will always come through. Last night at church a word was spoken and I feel like it was for me because it seems like the way I"ve felt for the last couple of months. It was that we are rounding the corner, for a while we have been approaching that spot, but now we are rounding the corner and when you go around the corner there is a new view of whatever you are looking at. That makes me excited to hear that because I feel like I am seeing new and better things. Instead of just relying on what is on the outside, I want to look at what is invisible. What I mean by this is I want to see what is always there and constant and not on the little things that are happening right now. I want to look at the big picture instead of the small picture of where my mind takes me. I want to look beyond and have my mind blown ten times over by the goodness and greatness of God and ALL the possibilities that he is throwing in my direction. I want to reach the lost and dying world in a new way, in a way that pleases God. I think this is the most important thing right now because when we see the impossible as possible, it really is amazing. Imagine if Thomas Edison gave up after one try with the light bulb. We would never have the light bulb. Think about how he thought about something that seemed impossible and didn't work for at least 30 times before he finally got it down. He could have given up because of what he saw in the natural sense, but he didn't and today light bulbs are everywhere. To me, if he could do that, I think I can look at the big picture myself. | | |
| Yesterday I had an emotional rollercoaster go on in me. Most of it was a confirmation of things that I have been feeling about anyway. This job that I'm in is not making me happy. I'm not getting the hours I need and I feel like my clients can see this in me as I'm there. I'm kinda a hypocrite about things because how can I tell people to have good self esteem when mine isn't up to par like I want it. I want so bad to do the will of God for me, yet sometimes I don't feel like I'm even heeding it. I love God with all my heart, yet some of the stuff that goes through my brain don't seem to line up with what God has spoken over my life. I know that is a normal feeling, but I guess that I have been the one that has always tried to take the positive attitude route.
Now, I know that God wants me to be happy, but for me, how can I be happy when I'm not doing what I love to do. Yesterday at work, talking to one of my coworkers helped me determine this in me. My coworker gave me that "its okay if you don't wanWow has it really been a couple of months since I last blogged on here?
Well it's really bad, but Xanga seems to be my spot where I vent about
things that dont' seem so upbeat. Thats weird I know, but whenever I'm
on myspace and I write a blog on there I feel like more of an
encouragement on there. But here, not as many of my friends aret to do this anymore" passage. See I've been feeling like this for a couple of months since I started this job, yet I had not wanted to leave them in the lurch because I wasn't happy. I have been thinking about my clients and about my coworkers and I really want to do the right thing. Just the way that she talked to me about it yesterday really made me feel a little bit relieved because she made me feel okay if this wasn't the right fit, there wasn't a sense of "you need to stay because your really good at this: There was this sense of "if you feel like your feelings are going to get in the way of you doing your job right and helping the clients, you need to make that decision." It was almost like a confirmation in my spirit that I had the permission that I needed. So I cried quite honestly and cried and well lets just say my makeup came off REALLY fast. I got home last night and decided to write my notes in my car and then go in my house and relax as much as I could. I made the decision to seek out what is the right way to go. I'm tired of doing things my own way, I'm tired of not realizing my full potential and I'm tired of feeling less then qualified for what I'm doing. I"m ready to start understanding the truth that God has spoken over my life. I'm ready to accept his perfect will and accept that he has made me the person that I am for a reason. I'm ready to keep myself in his will and see the impact in a hurting world that comes out of this thing that I"ve come to. Yeah this was a long blog but it was something that I had to get out. Now the only thing I"m thinking about is where do I go from here. What do I need to do where I am truly happy?
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